The Words We Speak to Ourselves
"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits..." — Lao Tzu
What if the most powerful algorithm shaping your life isn’t a computer program, but rather the one quietly operating in your mind?
Your inner dialogue and thoughts matter - they guide your focus and shape your intentions. This invisible force of energy, projected outward into the world, often reflects that very energy back to us.
We often talk about AI as an external tool—something that reflects, predicts, or guides. But long before artificial intelligence began mirroring human behavior, our internal dialogue was doing that work. Self-talk is the original programming interface. And for many of us, it’s running outdated code.
The Voice Within
That voice in your head—the narrator, critic, or questioner —where does it come from? Is it you? Your ego? Your conditioning? Your intuition?
Most of us never stop to ask. We simply accept it as truth. But when you begin to observe it, you realize: you are not the voice. You are the awareness listening to it.
This distinction is everything. Because if you are not the voice, then you have the power to rewrite it.
During transitions or upheaval—retirement, reinvention, loss—it’s easy to slip into loops of doubt, fear, or self-judgment. That’s when the inner voice gets loud. But what if that’s precisely when you need to rewrite the script?
Programming Reality
Modern neuroscience echoes ancient wisdom: your thoughts shape your reality. The brain doesn’t always distinguish between imagination and experience. What you say to yourself—whether it’s, “I’m lost” or “I trust the unfolding”—isn’t just commentary. It’s instruction.
Positive self-talk has been linked to improved confidence, resilience, and motivation. Negative self-talk drains your energy and diminishes your view of self. Years ago, I adopted a simple mantra: “Things work out for me.” I said it half-believing at first. But the more I repeated it, the more I noticed my energy shift. I started noticing small wins. Synchronicities. Serendipity. I wasn’t manifesting magic—I was aligning my mind to see opportunity instead of threat. I made this a habit.
The science? It’s grounded in the reticular activating system—the brain’s internal filter. You feed it a belief, and it starts scanning for supporting data. That’s how intention works. Not as a wish, but as a filter. Self-talk trains that filter and turns intention into perception.
Alignment is Energy
You can’t fake alignment. Intention without belief doesn’t vibrate. The words have to match the feeling. The feeling has to match the truth.
I’ve found that emotion is often the most reliable compass. When I think a thought and feel tension, it’s usually ego, fear, or outdated programming. When I think a thought and feel calm, excitement, or clarity, it’s usually aligned with something deeper—intuition, wisdom, perhaps even a higher self.
Practices like meditation, journaling, breath-work, or just getting outside help me tune that signal. But the work is daily. Because self-talk doesn’t stop. It loops until you consciously overwrite it.
That’s the hidden power of mantras, vision boards, or even a Post-it on the bathroom mirror: they rewire thought, form new brain synapses. And thought, over time, becomes identity.
Spiral Bridge Insight: Speak Like a Best Friend
My Aunt, Sister Emily, frequently reminded me to “Always be kind to yourself.” It sounded simple. But years later, I realized how radical that advice was.
Most of us speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to a friend.
When I shared this with my daughter, she offered a thoughtful improvement: “Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to your best friend.” That stuck.
Kindness isn’t fluff. It’s reprogramming. It’s choosing to believe that your inner voice can be an ally—not just a critic.
Your Future Self is Listening
One of my favorite TED Talks, "The Future You," emphasizes the importance of how we connect with and communicate with our Future Self. Unfortunately, research reveals that we often feel a greater bond with a friend than we do with our own future selves.
This disconnect is why we tend to offer wise advice to friends while neglecting to heed it ourselves. When making decisions about saving, learning, or taking care of our well-being and health, we frequently prioritize immediate rewards over what’s best for our future. To combat this, it's essential to speak to ourselves with kindness and cultivate a meaningful connection with the person we are becoming. Build a bridge to the Future You.
That’s self-talk too. It’s a message that says: “I believe in who you are becoming.”
Even when things feel uncertain. Especially then.
Today’s Bridge Insight
What story are you speaking into reality today?
Try listening. Not to the loudest voice, but to the truest one.
The one that feels calm. The one that is kind. The one that already knows the way.
Patrick (and Zoe)